Mediate what?

I had a meeting talking about returning to work in light of the adjustments suggested by the occupational health provider that my employer sent me to. The night before the meeting I was really anxious – I barely slept. I kept going over all the things they might say. But actually, it wasn’t so bad. I met my new manager (the fourth person to have responsibility for my case since September 2015) and he seemed nice enough. He asked some questions – some clueless, others reasonably insightful. Largely they wanted to understand the occupational health reports suggestions – and to work out what they could wiggle out of.
The report was very helpful, it included the suggestion I work part time, that I am only in the office 1-1.5 days per week and that I don’t work for more than 30 mins – 1 hour in carpeted rooms. All very helpful. At least, helpful to me. They aren’t keen to do any of those things. They really pushed me on asking whether I was anxious. It seems I don’t look anxious in meetings. They asked what was difficult about the meeting, and I told them – which made me cry. It was going back to talk to an employer about adjustments and returning to work who spent 18 months refusing to make the adjustments I needed. There were several points within that 18 months that felt humiliating, degrading and seriously difficult. The idea of going back was/is hard.
Towards the end of the meeting, the HR person dropped into the conversation that they wanted me to have mediation with my former manager. The person against whom I made 15 allegations of harassment or discrimination arising from disability. They want me to sit down and hear about her feelings, and to tell her mine. At the start of my return to work. In order to repair our working relationship. Seriously. I don’t know whether or not they will still want that to happen if I have won the case before I return to work. They feel that the tribunal won’t help with repairing relationships, and I can’t say I disagree. But I’m not sure that, as someone that has been discriminated against, I feel able to just sit and hear *her* feelings about being accused of discrimination! It’s a bit rich. So, if I return to work you will have to watch this space.

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